7/28/2009

NO, YES and MAYBE

Yesterday me and my workout buddy Ira decided to go and soak up some sun at the river by Ira's summer house. The day was cloudy but the sun was kind enough to come out now and then and we were happy to just relax and be lazy. We were talking about this and that, eating water melon and diving into cold refreshing water of Irtysh if we got too hot. In other words, we were having a great girls' time.

After an hour or so 2 drunk dudes were swimming by, they stopped in front of us and started talking LOUDLY to each other that this is the best place with the most beautiful view (looking at us and our reaction). Shoot, of course we just ignored them. When they disappeared we continued on girls talk. Then the dudes came back. Started talking about some bull... like why I got so many tatts, if we lived nearby and if we were local. We ignored them yet again.

"So we came from Russia and want to meet some people, you girls go to school or work?" -goes one dude. And then his empty beer can lands in the water (fucking pig, but I keep silent and try to ignore the asshole). Another one just laughs with the dumbest expression on his face. Splash. Another beer can lands into water. Are you fucking kidding me??? I am starting to get really mad but Ira tries to convince me to ignore them. I do. And then she goes very politely: "Young men, we are having our quiet girl time, not disturbing anyone and we ARE NOT trying to meet no guys". Them stupid ass jerks keep talking!!! Then it was my turn: "Look you disrespectful idiots, I do not give a poop if you come from Russia or anywhere else, you are being rude by trashing the water and trying to talk to us even though we politely explained we are not looking for any dicks. Now please disappear!". Finally a sparkle of understanding flashed through their eyes and they went away murmuring something like "dang these girls are not very friendly...".

So we are finally left alone. 30 min later another man (looking 60 years old) approaches us and the next dialog follows:

The old dude: "I see you ladies are tired of attention of them dudes"
Us: "Yes."
Him: "So how are you doing?".

F U C K. Are you serious??? You just saw us explaining to other men that we did not come here to meet no males and you keep trying??? UGH!!! Besides, I am pretty sure his little kids (or maybe even grandkids) were playing right next to us...

Ok so I wanted to clear everything up. Are men so slow that they cannot figure out rejection? If not, then why they keep trying to talk after hearing clear "no"? Or maybe they think we are just flirting and "no" means maybe? If so, wheer did they get this logic from?

a) Men are just stupid. They came from Mars and no comprende Venusian.
b) Most of the time women are being too vague. And a lot of times women do come to the bars, to the river, to the gym, to the library or else with a purpose of meeting a man.

Gosh this is tough. But my advice for women: make sure you are particularly clear when rejecting or accepting the conversation. Do not confuse men, they are confused enough. If you like the guy just answer his question and keep the conversation going. Don's say NO implying MAYBE and hope for his persistence. Because by doing that you are not doing a favor to women who mean their NO.

And for men: if a girl says NO please understand it is NO. Even if she is smiling. Even if you thought she gave you other signals. Of course there is a chance she just wants to play a game before giving you her number. But seriously, most likely she REALLY wants to be left alone. Trust me, when I go to the gym I want to workout. When I go to the bar BY MYSELF or with my girls I actually want to get a drink and nothing else. We need space. And there are plenty of situations, where presence of dick is unnecessary.

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